Back to the beginning

Well it seems as if the wheels have fallen off once more, and I don't know if I can put them back on again. Everything seems to go to shit at exactly the same time. I feel like I am drowning and I can't get to the surface and sometimes lately I don't know if I want to.

First session

Tuesday night was our first marriage counseling session. I think it went well, it was a bit unsettling to hear that she has felt this way for a long time and that this isnt a recent development.
Our "homework" is to decide if this marriage is something we want to save and i can answer yes as to what i bring to the marriage that i need to think about. This process isnt going to be easy and i dont want it to be i want it to be lasting

everyday is a new day

Today it was refreshing to hear Beth talk about long term plans involving me again. IT may have only been about renting a house when our current lease is up but i will take what i can get.
Will also be using this blog to journal my running efforts. I know the National Guard needs officers so my goal is to get in shape and join the guard..maybe i will go to Afghanistan maybe i wont either way its something close to the dream i gave up a few years ago.

new intentions

i will use this as a way to talk out what is going on with me and to rant about what i feel is is important. right nw what is important is trying to keep my marraige from impolding and it is proving to be a daunting task.
I know if there is a divorce Beth will want to take the kids to illinois but she will have to prove to a judge that it is in the childrens best interest to be seperated from me by more than 100 miles, the burden of proof is on her. i will do anything to keep this together i just hope she feels the same way.

Rumor is Arizona will be getting at least one if not two new congressional districts after the 2010 census data is compiled

Tough news

I was searching for old friends on facebook today and instead of finding a friend i found a link to his memorial site. Tommy Ike Folks died in Baghdad Oct. 19 2005 . Even though we lost contact shortly after i got out of the army in 99 this is still tough news to hear.

I remember one night in particular over in Germany when Tommy and I waled about 10 miles through a blizzard as part of a mission and probably would have walked 10 more if sgt. Riveria hadn't fallen into a small pond.

dissent will not be tolerated

Its nice to know that the constitution is going to go straight out the window if Obama wins. Don't Believe me , its already starting. Three papers decide to endorse McCain and then their reporters , who have been with Obama since the start of his campaign get thrown of his plane. Then there is the "Fairness" doctrine, which is aimed at silencing conservative talk radio. basically it says that all programming must present both view points , all because liberal talk radio always fails because no one wants to listen to that crap . Why must we be forced into listening to the lefts point of view, they dont share my values or concerns and they are not going to persuade me.
The media is supposed to protect the people from the unchecked power of the government, but what do we do when the mainstream media becomes the mouthpiece of the annointed canidate and all forms of dissent are silenced?