First session

Tuesday night was our first marriage counseling session. I think it went well, it was a bit unsettling to hear that she has felt this way for a long time and that this isnt a recent development.
Our "homework" is to decide if this marriage is something we want to save and i can answer yes as to what i bring to the marriage that i need to think about. This process isnt going to be easy and i dont want it to be i want it to be lasting

everyday is a new day

Today it was refreshing to hear Beth talk about long term plans involving me again. IT may have only been about renting a house when our current lease is up but i will take what i can get.
Will also be using this blog to journal my running efforts. I know the National Guard needs officers so my goal is to get in shape and join the guard..maybe i will go to Afghanistan maybe i wont either way its something close to the dream i gave up a few years ago.

new intentions

i will use this as a way to talk out what is going on with me and to rant about what i feel is is important. right nw what is important is trying to keep my marraige from impolding and it is proving to be a daunting task.
I know if there is a divorce Beth will want to take the kids to illinois but she will have to prove to a judge that it is in the childrens best interest to be seperated from me by more than 100 miles, the burden of proof is on her. i will do anything to keep this together i just hope she feels the same way.